My book launch was going great until my brain blanked
Even the most successful launches have glitches. The Artemis II crew had to deal with a malfunctioning space toilet.
At the launch of my second young-adult novel, Shade of Wings, I had to deal with a glitch of the brain.
Everything was going so well. The standing-room-only audience at Third Place Books Ravenna connected with the presentation I’d spent weeks refining and practicing. Nobody (that I could see) got restless and/or stared at their phones while I read. I felt relaxed answering questions about writing and crows, even the dreaded, “Don’t crows kill other songbirds?” question.
(Yes, they do, but cats and squirrels are bigger threats.)
Then came the book signing. I’d thought I’d prepared for this, too, by having a few stock phrases ready: “Watch birds!” “Great seeing you!” and “Thanks for your support!” I enlisted my son’s girlfriend to write names on Post-it notes, but the line was long and she couldn’t get everyone.
The signing should have been the cherry on top of an author lovefest. I thought I was home free. I didn’t anticipate brain freeze, and I’m not talking about the kind you get from slurping a slushy too fast.
My brain was flying in multiple directions, trying to think of things to write while smiling and making conversation. And three times it simply short-circuited.
A young man who’d lived with us during his senior year in high school handed over his book for me to sign. I recognized him but couldn’t come up with his name. So I fell back on a trick I’d learned in my days as a newspaper reporter. “How do you spell your name, again?”
“G-R-I-F-F-I-N.”
I proceeded to write it with an A, then an E, then an I. I made a mess of it. He seemed to shrug it off, saying people misspell his name all the time. What a gentleman.
Then a friend who’s a regular in my triathlon-training group walked up. She must have noticed me hesitate because she supplied her name: Xinthia (pronounced Cynthia).
“With an X,” I said, to show I remembered.
But as I signed, I felt an awkwardness and maybe a little worry on her part. We’d seen each other as recently as March.
The third freeze occurred with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. When our sons were playing baseball on the same all-star team, we saw each other A LOT, sitting through endless games and tournaments. I’d been to several gatherings at her house, and she and her family had come to our place on Guemes Island. This woman’s husband repeatedly helped my husband with computer issues.
“How do you spell your name?” I asked lamely.
“G-I-N-A.”
I started to write, spelling it with a J.
Jesus.
By all the usual measures, my launch was a raging success. We packed the bookstore, which sold all fifty of the books they’d ordered, along with seven of the ten copies I’d brought “just in case.” People kept coming up to me afterwards to tell me how well I did.
But for three small gaffes.
Of course, that’s what I focus on. That’s what I fret about for two nights when I should have had no problem falling asleep. Why do I do this? Why can’t I let go of harmless mistakes?
Probably for the same reason I still get nervous public speaking despite eight years in Toastmasters. (I joined the year my first book, The Leaving Year, was published.)
It’s a fear of judgment. A fear of being cast out of the tribe. When your identity is your skill with words and writing, that fear is amplified. What will people think? Gosh, she wrote a book, but she may be losing it.
I don’t mean to make light of memory loss. As I approach my 67th birthday, that’s become more of a concern. I have friends who’ve already received that devasting diagnosis. I count myself lucky to only experience the normal senior moments: misplacing my phone; walking into a room and forgetting why; and, yes, forgetting names.
My signing-line faux pas bugged me so much, I Googled it and was somewhat reassured to learn such embarrassments are all too common. Authors have even been known to mess up their own names.
So, lesson learned. From now on, everyone in the signing line will get sticky notes on their books with their names written in big block letters.
B-O-B
Fortunately, I will have more opportunities to get this signing thing down:
- Saturday, July 11: Watermark Book Company, 612 Commercial Ave. in Anacortes, WA. Author Meet-and-Greet from noon to 3 p.m.
- Thursday, July 16: Birds Connect Seattle, 616 Olive Way, Seattle, 6:30 p.m. I will be presenting alongside Kaeli Swift, a postdoctoral researcher at the University of Washington who studies avian behavioral ecology and the death behaviors of American crows. Note: I gave some people a later date. The event was moved up a week to accommodate Kaeli’s schedule.
- Friday, August 21: Bold Coffee & Books, 1755 SW Jefferson St, Portland, OR. I will be in conversation with Jessie Glenn, writer and director of Mindbuck Media Book Publicity in Portland.
Check the events page of my website for more events as they’re scheduled. And thanks for reading! Has your brain ever taken an inopportune time-out? Share your story, if you dare, in a comment.
